My friends and I are all 15 -16 and one of our friends who had a relation hip with an older man said that all older guys would risk everything if they though they had half a chance of sleeping with a young beautiful girl. It has become a bit of a craze amongst my friends to tease older men and flirt with them and see what reaction they give. For the most part they all seem pretty interested in us and some of my friends have taken it further although only a couple I know have slept with these men. I think that some flirting and teasing is harmless fun but a lot of these guys are married and I think that the whole thing is getting out of hand and dangerous. I feel under pressure to do more but I’m afraid of what will happen but I don’t want my friends to think I’m a baby. What should I do?
Doing more isn’t proving to your friends you’re not a baby. Sticking up for what you believe in is proving you’re not a baby.
Go against the crowd and be the role model for someone else who is just “going along” in this dangerous, illegal, and downright self-degrading activity and perhaps you will save her life and your own.
My best friends daughter is 16. She is gorgeous, intelligent and self assured. She has her stuff together and everyone knows it. Only the best of the best guys even try to approach her. She sticks to her values and is a quality person who will have best pickings of men when she matures because she isn’t out there with a scorecard trying to impress immature friends.
Flirting may seem harmless but just remember if you play around the edges of the pond you may fall in when you least expect it.
It’s no prize to sleep with an older man. As per your friends own words, some men would give anything to sleep with a young beautiful girl – it won’t matter which – it doesn’t mean the girls are anything special, just easy.
Among other things, it is cheap. You really should invest in a different set of friends and at some point you should be guided by your own convictions (I’m just giving you the benefit of the doubt, you may be limited there, too) I
t is not risky for the older men They already know how to “play”. The problem is they may not be playing the game that you think they are. This is a lose-lose propositions for you and your friends. That you /they do not realize it–is the risk. You are being “suckers” in an old game.
I had the same thing happen I am over 50 married and had a 20 year old who has a B F really hit hard on me. It got to a stage I had to warn her off. But then I started having feelings for her. She talked to my wife and had a few serious words to me regarding a financial matter. My wife avoided me for a few days, I knew that she more than likely lied to the young woman. I also know they communicated as the young woman went as far as trying to get me to ask her for a date. Hinted that she wanted a small wedding, Left her picture on my mobile when I showed her the wedding we attended ( I gave her my phone ) and then the next week she asked if I dreamed about her? I did not notice her photo until three weeks later. She opened a dialogue about sex. Then after I had tried to ignore her as I was getting too close to the fire. She hit the ***** switch and did the same thing to me. A few times I greeted her she asked what about your wife? I was not in a good relationship with my spouse and all the women knew this as my spouse had talked too much about our personal life, including that we do not sleep together. Other women also expressed interest in me. This was a small confined group of people mainly a family run business with girls and women working at the designated shifts. I wondered how she and others knew so much about me and our personal life. Well thanks to the wife that has caused this problem before they knew and the opportunity was there. While some tried to make me get hot so that I would go home and give it to the wife good, in her own words. The other/s had other ideas. I suspected the wife was behind this as she is a proper twit and has already accused me of having a G F while on a family business trip over seas. She has got advice from a family law solicitor regarding how to best get her hands on the money for the Investment properties. While the others knew we were above average in wealth. So the money factor is always there. An easy way out of working for 20 to 40 years before you pay off your first home. They hook up with a sugar daddy. Stay and then go still having enough time to meet someone after they fleece you out of your possessions.
Dangerous in more ways than you think! These older guys who have experience might just know how to talk a girl out of their clothes to get some sex, but they can also be sex predators, and rape and do harm in other ways. For the most part, what they are doing is illegal, since just kissing a girl that young is considered sexual assault on a minor. Feeling them up and having actual sex with them is statutory rape, no matter if the girl let them with her consent. So flirting and teasing is just the beginning of playing with dynamite in this case.
I’m going to sound like my mom (and yours, too, probably) but any friend who would dump you or think you’re a baby for not engaging in this crap is not worth having.
Don’t forget, the men who respond to this are all breaking the law of statutory rape, not a small deal. If they don’t care about that, they’re scums and there’s probably a lot they don’t care about.
I can think of about 10 things that could happen from this type of stuff, and not one is good. Families get broken, kids get hurt, the little “sluts” get preggers or STD’s….gah. Stick to your principles 🙂
stop and have a good look at your friends and your self,
if you think this is how you should act then im sorry you’re all whores and should go to hell,
im only fourteen and know no tot act like that, you should be setting a better exapmle and if your worried about what your so called “friends” think about shitty ****** up crap liek that then stuff your friends there a load of crap, i dont know them and normally i wouldnt judge but i mean, c`mon thats just ****** up!
NO one should do that, especially with married people its desgusting!, a disgrace to humans!
i think you shouldn’t worry about its and forget about it.
These sluts will put the guys into jail and eventually wind up in some unpleasant situations, richly deserved. Sheesh, what morons. These women are not good people to hang out with. Find decent friends.
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.
im 16 and Im only interested in people in my age group , well The older woman are appealing but Im not going to do anything with them , especially if they are married.
* rethinks *
well most of the time.
but still you shouldnt do that , think about what would happen if you got pregnant.
When I was 15 I was infatuated with a guy who was old enough to be my father. When he lost his virginity, I was still in nappies. When I handed in my first school project, on ‘My Favourite Tree’, he was finishing his degree and while my social life was revolving around Coca-Cola and watching My Girl, he was already well into adulthood. The same sort of differences must apply in 18-year-old Elizabeth Jagger’s new friendship with 44-year-old Canadian actor Michael Wincott. The pair deny a romance (of course) but her father, Mick, is reportedly seething. At 18, Elizabeth is over the age of consent and ready to make her own romantic decisions – but a 26-year age gap still has a strange ring to it. Flirting across this divide might seem like a game to her, so perhaps Wincott should be careful not to take her too seriously.
In my case, the one time that ‘my’ older guy did make a pass at me I ran a mile. The main attraction was that I absolutely couldn’t have him and it turned out that I didn’t really want him anyway.
It was around the age of 13 that my friends and I discovered we had a curious power over truck drivers. In retrospect, our experimentation with mini-skirts, high heels and blouses with missing buttons was a little risky, but having been invisible children for as long as we could remember, we were excited at suddenly being the objects of attention. We enjoyed having the power to inspire nervous looks in male teachers and instigate different levels of mayhem depending on what we were wearing, but it was a way of exerting independence and not anything to do with sex itself. It may be hard for men to understand, but we wanted to be liked by older men without being mauled by them.
Every Saturday night became a scramble of tight dresses, seven-inch heels and Wonderbras. We’d spend hours laughing over fake IDs in pubs without actually having the money to buy a drink and then descend towards random clubs in packs, tottering in far too early and spending most of the night giggling in a toilet.
Before I discovered older men, the teenage boys we hung around with looked like ill species of just-born aliens, not quite men but too ugly and bumpy-faced to still be children. Therefore I considered it completely justifiable to be infatuated with people twice my age.
Young girls do sometimes look precociously sexual and I can see how adults might see this teasing behaviour as provocative, but it’s disproportionate to assume that a short skirt is meant as an invitation. Talking to teenage boys was like talking to a wall. They were too stoned to make conversation and all they wanted to do was grope you. Being attracted to older men was merely a way of testing the ground with people who used words of more than two syllables.
Flirting with older men was also considered bad behaviour, which made it all the more appealing and although I feel inordinately sorry for the average man in an average bar, speaking to an average group of girls who turn out to average out at the age of 14, it’s not as if they complained. You only have to look at the massive nationwide success of the School Disco club nights to see that men aren’t averse to schoolgirls.
I don’t regret my interest in older men; it was all in the name of fun and games, but I do feel bad about anyone I confused along the way. There was my first boyfriend, who was 18 and almost had a fit when he learnt I was 14, and there was a perfectly nice guy in a club who asked me if I’d like to come home with him. Instead of smiling politely and declining, I said: ‘Eeew, that’s disgusting!’ – and, assuming he still believed I was 18, he might have been quite hurt by my response.
I can’t talk for all teenage girls, but for me it was just like playing dressing-up and I certainly never wanted to sleep with the men I fancied. On the other hand I don’t think I’ve ever dated a man my own age, so perhaps old habits die hard.
· Anna Stothard’s novel, Isabel and Rocco, is published by Arrow this April, price £6.99