My boyfriend and I have been together about a year. I’m 20, he’s 24. He has to work full time to pay for college, and is graduating next semester. He says I’m the girl he wants to be with, and marry one day, and asked me to move in with him next year(which he said he would sign the lease for).
Recently I found out he texted another girl, just harmless flirting, but I was still extremely upset. I told him I would forgive him if he promised not to talk to other girls again. He said he did it as a self-esteem boost(he is good looking, but self-conscious)…That was a month ago. I go home on the weekends to work, and last night one of my friends texted me, saying his friend got pics from my boyfriend. And they were of his penis. The girl(turns out i went to elementary school with her) forwarded me the pics and it was him. He said he was sorry, but he would never do anything with anybody. I actually believe that. I think he’s caught up in some complex about himself and wants reassurance. It is still wrong. I told him I would give him one more chance and then I was done. I should have broken up with him, but I love him so much, and I keep telling myself he’ll change. I’m so upset and scared. Does anybody have any advice? Please don’t be mean, my heart already feels broken.
Have to agree with the wannabe-diva I’m afraid. There’s a chance he may not do it again, but really I’m not buying this self-esteme nonsense. You sure as hell wouldn’t send people pictures of your penis if you just wanted the attention.
My advice would be to break up with him, at least. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he continued doing it, and is this the sort of person you really want to spend the rest of your life with? I wouldn’t.
First, there is NO such thing as ‘harmless flirting’ if you are in a relationship. You need to put your foot down with that.
Second, forgive him if you want. But make it EXTREMELY clear that one more stunt like that and you’ll leave him without thinking twice. Most men need threats like these (with promise behind them) to keep them from disrespecting you… I know mine does.
He may make it seem like this happened because he was so self conscious, and there may be a certain degree of truth to that. But don’t let that blind you. He should be looking for reassurance from YOU and he shouldn’t be needing it from your friends, or other girls. So, don’t let him blame it all on that. It’s a natural defense that I’ve seen a lot of guys use when they know they messed up… They’ll resort to blaming it on some flawed part of themselves, usually trying to evoke pity or understanding, rather than angry feelings from their partner.
I would have a very serious talk with him…
Okay you said last chance so I think you should keep it because if he does it again break up with him if u don’t he’s gonna realize you don’t do anything about it so might as well do it… Break ups doesn’t mean the end just break up with him for alittle bit let him suffer and realize that your not someone to mess with like that..what he did was very wrong and very disrespectful
Your X is a big fat cheater and usually cheaters are always cheaters until like 40 yrs old or so, then they want to settle down. Not only is he a cheater, but a pervert sending a pic of his privates, that just sick. How would he feel if you were talking to another man and sending naked pics of yourself to this guy. He is not your soul mate…A guy truly in love would have never done this to you..
Rachel, most people are going to say dump him right now, but as long as you stick to your word and dump him if it happens again then I’d say its a good move. But don’t be naive to think he wasn’t after sex when he sent those pictures and if he has some complex issue and truly loved you then he seek help and he wouldn’t be doing this would he? Keep your ears and eyes on alert honey..
I was with someone for two years who did that kind of stuff. I would find emails and text messages from him to other girls asking them to “hang out” with one of the winking faces attatched. i once found an entire conversation where he was talking to this girl about how he wanted to be with her and he would consider leaving me if she would wait for him. people like this, unfortunately, dont change. I would suggest weaning urself from him. go out with girlfriends more and start hanging out with him and talking to him less and less. eventually, you will be ok with leaving. itll hurt to start but once u finally start to heal, its worth it in the end…
He is such a player. You may feel you love him but what if you marry him ad he keeps cheating on you?!
dump his a$$ – girl hes playin you like a FIDDLE!