my live in boyfriend ignores me and my needs, should i just quit the relationship?

i have been living with my boyfriend for 7months. like everything, at the beginning, he was the charmer. he would wake up and say to me that he loved me and would take the time to make me feel so. our lovemaking sessions were fun and i was satisfied. then, slowly but surely, it started to be all about him in bed, and soon after he would fall asleep while i was left all high and dry. we do not kiss for the sake of kissing, we don’t hold hands, we don’t cuddle, we don’t just hang out… well, we just don’t do anything anymore.

i rather not have sex with him because i just feel used after. i have mentioned this to him a couple of times and he just stares at me, and says nothing. he does, on the other hand, drift farther away from me. i asked him if there was someone else, and he just asked me if i was crazy. this only the tip of the iceberg. is like this in every aspect of our relationship. i want more, i love him but i feel shortchanged. i know this is one of those questions i already know the answer to, but i just need to hear someone else’s point of view. thanks for your time and advise!

thank you for your quick responses. i’ve had a couple of sit downs with him, today was the most recent one, all he said to me was that “all you do is talk to hear yourself speak” … after that i just walked out and we have not been speaking to each other, except for the necessary. i am exhausted. again, thank you for taking the time for your imput and advise.

10 Answers

  1. If you love him and want it to work, then tell him what your needs are and ask him if he is willing to work on changing things. If he doesn’t answer or won’t, then you have your answer right there. Because it takes two people to make a relationship work and its important that both their needs are met.

    You are not happy and life is too short to not be happy! So if he will work on it, then work together. If he won’t, then you need to move on!

  2. Tell him what you wrote out here. I think that pretty much sums up how you feel. I know that sometimes when two people start living together early on in a relationship it is possible for people to sometimes overlook the little things. Since you’re living together already, maybe he feels he has nothing to aspire to. When you bring up your concerns with him, try not to be overly critical; remember you have seen firsthand what an amazing lover and person he can be. It’s okay to let him know that! Even more importantly; let him know that you miss those qualities in him.

    If he just ignores you, then he’s obviously not interested in fixing these problems, making you happy, or improving your relationship. It’s time to let go.

  3. I would cut the relationship. Don’t keep up with it if you’re not getting what you want. I know he will cut it at some point if you don’t (but probably be heading back time to time saying he loves you and all that kind of crap to abuse you) because it seems to me you’re like a tool to him which he doesn’t value and have respect’re a human must be respected, no matter what.

    my opinion is break up with him.take some time alone,think about all the things very clearly to find out were you are now in your life before seeing anybody else. if you do it all right you will understand that the lack of self respect causes all these problems.

    the bottom line: self confidence, self respect then comes relationship

  4. a relationship is basically about being happy. that’s why you’re in it, right? because you want to be happy?

    it seems like this relationship is just making you feel lonely, used and stressed. it doesn’t seem healthy to me, anyway. try confronting him first. Sit him down, tell him all your worries. His reaction/response will definitely give you a clear answer as to whether or not you should stay with him.

    good luck <3

  5. sounds like he doesnt respect you or your feelings. an now that your living together he can get an do whatever he wants an know youll be there for him. my advice would be for you to leave him. do you really want to live with someone who treats you this way or be married to for the rest of your life?

  6. I think you should leave him…i mean if he doesn’t take the time to show you that he loves you and only wants to have sex to make himself satisfied leave him…its not worth it.

  7. you need to discuss this with him, not yahoo answers. no one here knows your situation 100% so they cant really advise you

  8. in the relationship your supposed to be happy,

    if he doesnt make you happy leave. your wasting

    your time when you could be with someone who

    does make you happy.

  9. i would suggest you tell your boyfriend to take a hike or become more sensitive to your needs

  10. sure

Whether you’ve been going out with someone for two months or two years, it can feel incredibly concerning if they start to ignore you. Your mind will start to fill with an abundance of questions as you try to figure out what you’ve done so wrong for him to completely blank you. 

The truth is, there are several reasons why your boyfriend may be ignoring you, and in this article, we’re going to take a look at them.

It’s vital that you understand why your boyfriend is ignoring you so that you can work on either fixing the problem or leaving him. So, let’s jump straight in and take a look at the 14 top reasons your boyfriend is ignoring you.

Why Is My Boyfriend Ignoring Me?

1. He’s angry at you

One of the most obvious reasons that your partner could be ignoring you is that he is angry with you. If you’ve just had a fight or you’ve hurt your partner in any way, he might not feel like talking to you, which is perfectly valid. Although everyone is different, typically after angry emotions surface, it often takes a while for them to disappear. Therefore, you can’t expect your partner to reply to you if they are still angry.

In fact, they are ignoring you for the good of the relationship, because if they did choose to reply when they were still dealing with angry feelings, they might say something they would later regret, or more conflict would arise.

2. He’s jealous

If your boyfriend knows that you are spending time with your friends, especially if there are guys around, he might feel jealous. Your boyfriend might show his jealous feelings by ignoring you and therefore almost punishing you for spending time with anyone other than him. 

Jealousy is one of the most normal emotions in romantic relationships, but this kind of manipulation needs to be kept under control and if this is the reason your partner is ignoring you, you need to talk about it and he needs to work through it.

3. He’s in a bad mood

Your partner could quite simply be blanking you because he is in a bad mood. Perhaps someone in his family has angered him or his day at work was particularly bad. Whatever the reasons for it are, if your man is in a bad mood he might not want to talk to you.

Although you might wish he spoke to you so that you could make it better for him if he speaks to you whilst in a bad mood, a conflict could arise or he could put his bad mood onto you. This is your guy’s way of dealing with his bad mood, and no one, especially not you, should judge that.

4. He wants to have some space

Your significant other could just be a really introverted person or simply enjoy spending time by himself, and that’s why he’s seemingly giving you the cold shoulder from time to time. If your man simply wants space to just do his thing and chill out in the peace of his own company, you should definitely not have a problem with that.

However, just to avoid confusion and to stop your imagination from cooking up some crazy scenario, it could be worth just asking your boyfriend to let you know the next time he needs a little alone time.

5. He’s cheating on you

This is probably the most unfortunate, painful reason that your man might not be replying to your texts – he could be cheating on you. If your boyfriend ignores you for long periods of time or frequently, it could be because he is spending time with someone else and doesn’t want you to find out. If you notice that your boyfriend ignores you at certain times, like in the evenings or on the weekend, it could be because he’s got another relationship going on with someone else that he needs to keep up with.

If you do think this is what’s happening, you will want to try and find evidence that he is cheating on you before you decide to accuse him. Then, leave him behind and open yourself up to the idea of a new relationship with a better man!

6. You make him feel smothered

Are you over the top with your boyfriend? Do you have controlling tendencies? Do you make the relationship more serious than it is? Do you often double text your man? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the answer to “why is he ignoring me” could be you. 

This sounds really harsh, but quite simply, you could be the reason that he’s not replying – because you smother him. If you think you are way more into the relationship than he is, you need to back down and back off, because smothering someone is only ever going to make them run away.

7. He’s considering breaking up

Your man might have gone quiet on you if he is thinking about ending the relationship. Obviously, this is not the first conclusion you should jump to, especially if your relationship is happy, healthy, and secure. 

However, if your man is distancing himself from you more and more, and the relationship is becoming more strained and just not working, he could be avoiding talking to you because he’s trying to figure out how to break up with you.

Don’t panic. You need to look at the way things are in the relationship, and if you think your boyfriend is avoiding you because he wants to end things, it’s best to be open, honest, and speak to him. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when things get bad, so try to talk things over.

8. He’s a bad communicator

One of the most basic reasons that your boyfriend could be avoiding you is if he’s just a really bad communicator. Although it’s not ideal if your man isn’t the best at communicating clearly, it’s also not the worst reason for him to blank you. You might need to explain why you feel upset that he’s blanking you because he might genuinely not realize he’s doing anything out of the ordinary. 

Don’t go in with the, “you ignored me and I’m mad” approach, because he won’t understand what he’s done wrong. As long as your partner understands that you want and need him to communicate in a better way, you’ll be able to work on his communication skills together.

9. He’s upset about something

One of the reasons people tend to go quiet is because they are upset by something and they are trying to deal with it themselves. The reason that your partner might be sad will obviously be personal and specific, but you might have said something to hurt him, or other people around him have. You might want to force words out of his mouth or beg for him to tell you what’s wrong, but when somebody is sad, you should give them space.

If you suspect that this is the reason your partner is ignoring you, unless you think that your boyfriend is going to harm himself or anyone else, you should give him space and simply reassure him that you are here for him.

10. Something major has happened in his life

One of the most valid reasons that your boyfriend has for blanking you is if something big has just happened in his personal life. If something major has just happened in his personal life, then your partner quite frankly has more on his plate than replying to your texts or social media messages.

There could be a problem within this guy’s family, or he might have some personal business to attend to. Whatever your man is specifically busy with doesn’t matter, you need to give him space and show him the support he needs, without being needy yourself. If you give your man time, he’ll come running back to you stronger than ever.

11. You’re always fighting

Do you argue a lot in your relationship? If so, the reason your boyfriend ignores you could be because he is sick of fighting with you all of the time, and maybe he just wants some peace and quiet. Many relationships go through short time periods where all the couple does is fight with each other, so it’s not unusual, don’t worry.

However, if your partner is ignoring you, he might actually be putting an end to this phase of fighting – this is just his way to make sure no more feelings get hurt.

It’s important to say here that if you’re constantly fighting in your relationship for a prolonged period of time and it never gets any better, that’s a sign that things are definitely wrong in the relationship, and things need to change.

12. He’s trying to manipulate you

One of the most concerning reasons that your partner might be giving you the silent treatment is because they are trying to manipulate you. Does your partner ignore you when you do something they disagree with? 

If so, this is their way of controlling you and manipulating the relationship – they make you feel bad when you do things they don’t like, and then give you their attention as a reward for acting how they want you to. 

This is a really concerning type of behavior and needs to be looked out for. If you think that this is what’s happening in your relationship, try to seek advice from a professional or do some research on manipulative behaviors. 

13. He’s trying to show you he’s not interested

Some people hold very little regard for how other people feel, and therefore one of the reasons your boyfriend ignores you could be because he wants to end the relationship, but doesn’t have the confidence to communicate properly with you. Instead, if this is the reason, this guy will fade out of your life without actually ending the relationship. 

14. He’s actually busy

Finally, your man might actually just be busy. If this is the reason, your feelings don’t have to get hurt and you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend ignoring you being linked to some ulterior motive. Simply, your partner is busy and will reply to you soon.

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