are you allowed to kiss a stripper?

i went to a strip club last week for my boys 19th bday and it was my second time at the strip club that we went. since it was my second time i decided to have more fun and get a lap dance from this asian stripper…as she was grinding on me she kept bringing her face towards me like she wanted to kiss (i was going to but i heard that you are not allowed to touch the strippers at all). should have i just kissed her or what??

P.S. wanted to ask since another friend of mine faced the same situation as me

8 Answers


    1) you dont know where their mouths have been!!!! (ive seen one lick the pole right AFTER another chick had slid down it with no underwear ewww)

    2)That is against the rules

    3)That is a tool the strippers used to make a dude so worked up he will throw more money her way for the extra feel up

  2. Most strippers suffer from a lack of self esteem and suffered some sort of abuse or abandonment as children. If a stripper is a attracted to you, there’s a good chance she senses that you will duplicate the type of abuse she experienced in adolescence. I would not be very flattered if a stripper liked me. The truth is she probably wanted you to pay for another lap dance.

  3. No, it is against the rules. The point of a lap dance is to look but not touch. Only the stripper can initiate physical contact. You could get in a lot of trouble if you touch her.

  4. NO, don’t do it, you can bet you’ll catch hell from the bouncers! Asian strippers do this, they dance almost too close to clientsm it’s just how they are, it’s not an invitation

  5. I would never do that because you could be sued or even made a sex offender. You could also get an std because many strippers are loose women.

  6. I don’t think you are supposed to…let them do their thang. Although, strippers need lovin too.

  7. Usually you don’t.

    If she goes in you can let her,

    But don’t initiate.

  8. don’t they have some rules posted? If they don’t do what “feels right”.

Relevant information

Andy Kryza

Strip clubs are like temples, except instead of religious iconography, they happen to be full of beautiful women and booze. And like a temple, there are certain guiding principles that one must respect, lest you’re denied the earthly pleasures therein. That’s why we tapped author and iconic Portland dancer Elle Stanger to descend the mountain — er, pole — and give us the 10 Strip Club Commandments.

Andy Kryza

Thou shall have no other distractions before me

I am the stripper, thy entertainer, who brought you out of your house of boredom, and thou shall have no other distractions before me. Texting thy booty call can probably wait another three to seven minutes, so put your damn phone away. At least do what the on-call nurses and truck drivers do when their devices start buzzing: put a couple dollars on the rack, get up, and walk away to answer. Mine is a divine performance, and thou shall pay attention.

Thou shall not record or photograph my image

Since the dawn of hip hop and butt-rock music videos, many have forgotten that this isn’t just a sin, it’s illegal by the laws of Man. In most states it’s actually a Class A Misdemeanor to record in a club. Performers want to be famous in the club — our temple — not on YouTube.

Thou shall not present thy junk

Nobody wants to see selfies of your nethers: not your girlfriend, not your Snapchat buddies, and certainly not a stripper. It is a true test of a dancer’s poker face when presented with a picture of a stranger’s Linus in the lap dance room. Every time a customer scrolls through his cellular gallery, saying, “I want to show you something,” strippers mentally prep themselves for photos of smiling children… of the instrument that fertilized the egg that made them.

Thou shall give alms

Paying a cover fee alone doesn’t make you entitled to gaze at a dancer’s divine visage. Us strippers beat up our bodies doing Olympics-level pole tricks. If you can’t afford to see Cirque du Soleil, you definitely shouldn’t be going to a club. For those on a budget, handeth over $1 per dance. Honor thy dancer.

Thou shall not covet attention

Encouraging your girlfriend to lap-hump on you at the bar or at the rack isn’t arousing to anyone, even if R. Kelly’s “Bump and Grind” is playing. Either way, folks are here for a show, not a spectacle you’ve created.

Andy Kryza

Thou shall not lick or kiss

Heathen. One sure way to guarantee yourself an air dance (Editor’s Note: that’s a lap dance, minus any contact) is to make the stripper nervous that she might suddenly be bathed in your saliva. My neck is for my lover and my forehead is for my Mom. So please keep your mouth closed and away.

Thou shall not grope

Grabbing a stripper’s body parts to see her tattoo is one of the biggest no-no’s. If you say, “I just want to see your tattoo,” you’re even worse. What was decreed in kindergarten still stands: look with your eyes, not your hands. Otherwise the bouncer’s going to look with his hands while kicking you out.

Thou shall not covet my off time

Telling a stripper you “don’t tip strippers” but that you’d rather “take her out for dinner” is the best way to ensure that she spins on her stilettos and never speaks to you again. Good luck with your speed dating; the prophets predict it shall be extra fast.

Thou shall respect thy dancers

That other stripper you just made a rude comment about? She’s my coworker. She’s my friend. Regardless, women are smart enough to know that a real compliment doesn’t rely on denigration of another woman. That’s a competition none of us agreed to.

Thou shall not steal

Nothing reeks of desperation more than attempting to steal tips from a working woman. It happens more than you’d think. I’ve given into wrath and chased men who took tips from my stage. Some of us run pretty fast in heels. Thou shall not beat the crap out of a thieving scumbag is not one of our commandments… or one of the bouncer’s.

Elle Stanger is a mother, stripper, feminist, activist, non-monogamous wife, and author who entertains the masses in Portland, OR. She holds two university degrees, neither of which she utilizes in a conventional fashion. She prefers organic food, dark beer, and self-actualized individuals. Don’t ask her about her tattoos; she’s run out of clever retorts. Find her online at

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